I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
