My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug