He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that