From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.