She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
