I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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