Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
