One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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