Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
