Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
