This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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