"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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