Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
