If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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