What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
