Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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