So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
