I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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