This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize