I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The air was thick with penises
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
