dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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