I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize