Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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