doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
