Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
