She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
