never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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