bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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