i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
