cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize