dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
