I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
