I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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