Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
