I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
