oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
