the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
