I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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