It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
