the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My brain says no but my pants say off.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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