Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
