On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
