i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
