pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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