YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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