Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
