Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
