just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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