Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
