i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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