stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you win again, gameday.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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