I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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