You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
