ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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