No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
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You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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