DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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